A Promise to Myself

I promise this to myself. But then again, are promises meant to be broken? No. Not really. Promises can be kept. And they can be broken. It always comes down to a choice. We are free. And so I am free. I choose this promise. I promise a daily dose of writing. Minimum of five hundred words. I read about this writer who tied herself to her desk so that she could write. Sleepiness is my greatest enemy. And maybe staring too much on the wall. This has to change. I will write with a purpose because it is my purpose to write. I don't know why I said that but I did. So I guess that must be true. There will be moments of stillness and emptiness in this exercise, but it is nothing to be afraid of. I am really just afraid of myself that a sleeping monster might awaken and shout revelations from the spirit within. Yet it is crying to come out of me. It has been imprisoned for so long. My fingers on the keyboard belong to these thoughts hiding in the corner of my psyche. They are like homeless vagrants not really looking for a home but a place for the night, but in the morning they still be wandering around, content with living an aimless existence. I need to put purpose behind this as the carrot on the stick, or maybe I don't really need a carrot on stick if I can see the end of this all, for the end will should define the purpose, or vice versa. This is how it is in the world of semantics, when confusion may abound even more than the clarity that is sought.

I shall be watching John Cameron's Avatar tonight. It promises to be ground-breaking. The 3D technology here will be different from the old 3D I have known. Here the whole screen becomes like a stage, instead of the occasional three-dimensional object that sticks out every now and then. I just hope to be entertained and the more I learn about being entertained, the more MAYBE I will be able to make writing more entertaining, at least to myself. Writing itself cannot really be taught, but there are some techniques and methods which can be learned to make the craft easier or, in my case, manageable. The three kids will be coming. They will enjoy it more than I ever will because they have more of the sense of awe. This sense is lost as we age. But I think that I can retrieve it and that should really make me a better person for it will rekindle the child within me.