Damelus regained

For weeks and weeks now, I've been frantically trying to recall my old blogger account but to no much avail. I couldn't for the life of me remember this blog name, this account name. I tried to use my old email addresses, which did not seem to work. I was desperate almost to the point of panicking as I thought, "How could I lose an account name?" I mean, yes, I have had many and various accounts in the past years, and I have had them written down somewhere in my diaries, or in my electronic phonebook. No. This one however was elusive. I have all but forgotten that I had this account. Many odd and strange things have happened since, all lost in time, as they have not been penned down, but most would be hidden away in the deep recesses of the mind. One day, they would crawl out of the hiding den and give life perchance to dead thoughts and memories frozen in limbo.

In a relaxed moment today, I just thought I would try to find it again. I knew it was in blogger. I got in. I was able to recover the account name using an old gmx email address to identify myself. I was told I had to switch over to a gmail email address, which I did. And here I am. Unable to wait and waste moments to make a post. Here I am perhaps confirming to myself that "I blog, therefore I am", borrowing a thought from Descartes. So this entry today just attempts to announce that the plug has been pulled, that the gap of years has been filled, that the life of blogging has been again embraced.

Having found this blog spot gives me a new challenge - the challenge to again solidify my thoughts, to look closer at the things around me, to gaze and more importantly to ponder, for my thoughts are a great part of me. Actually they are the part of me that I can truly call palpable, everything else is tucked away securely, hidden, forgotten or masked to the point of no recognition. When you understand this, part of that mask is unveiled, the person beneath is revealed, and what's brought to light dies, as a vampire melts and smoulders under the purifying rays of sunlight. I hope I will share something with the vampire, not in its search for blood, but in sharing conscious moments through the night.

Here is a poem to celebrate this day.

Rapid grieving pulses beat like a drum sounding from infinity
Living, breathing, traversing time in a solid vacuum
Not standing, not lying down, not sitting idly
Just floating, spinning slowly, touching time and ecstasy
Burning footsteps heavily pounding on the stage floor
Smiles surreptitiously sliced, chopped, by the sharp blade of the clock's hand
Weeping ceases, opening doors where a lunatic's laugh launches
Unstoppable monster wails, making the papers crease up
And the November moon tremble in its fullness
There is silence so loud, telling sweet lies that peel off onion layers of reality
Buried in the sand is the gloomy face of oblivion
With eyes staring from a countenance of gaping wounds, blood seared by the sun.